


the joy of painting

by mangothief (blessings)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Datekougyou | Date Tech, Gen, this fic? probably crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 22:04:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10976250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blessings/pseuds/mangothief
Summary: Outside, the hallways of the gym were mostly silent, interrupted by the echoes of volleyball fans heading towards their seats to watch Karasuno’s match against Shiratorizawa. Kamasaki freezes each time he hears someone pass by the bathroom door, while Kenji tenses and prepares to knock him over and make a run for it. If someone were to walk in, there’s no covering up what they’re planning.Kenji’s brilliant, intelligent,geniusprank is to replace Karasuno’s “Fly” banner with his cleverly updated version that read “Cry.”He loves it because onlywimpsrevealed their true emotions and therefore, this banner was suggesting that Karasuno was a bunch of wimps. He had explained the joke to Kamasaki five times in the past half hour.Or, Futakuchi and Kamasaki are Karasuno's biggest fans in their match against Shiratorizawa. They even made them a new banner.





	the joy of painting

_“Ever make mistakes in life? Let's make them birds. Yeah, they're birds now.”_ \- Bob Ross

Kenji wouldn’t go so far as to say he was a genius, but he was definitely within reach of the title. Gifted seemed like an accurate description. Maybe prodigy?

He knew he must be exceptional in some way, because not just anyone could come up with a prank _this_ good.

Kenji is kneeling on the tiled floor of the men’s restroom in the Sendai City Gym, a black tarp laid out in front of him and a bucket of white paint next to him. Kamasaki is kneeling with him, paintbrush in hand, but he’s mostly there so Kenji has somebody to accuse of holding him hostage if anyone walks in. 

Outside, the hallways of the gym were mostly silent, interrupted by the echoes of volleyball fans heading towards their seats to watch Karasuno’s match against Shiratorizawa. Kamasaki freezes each time he hears someone pass by the bathroom door, while Kenji tenses and prepares to knock him over and make a run for it. If someone were to walk in, there’s no covering up what they’re planning.

Kenji’s brilliant, intelligent, _genius_ prank is to replace Karasuno’s “Fly” banner with his cleverly updated version that read “Cry.” 

He loves it because only _wimps_ revealed their true emotions and therefore, this banner was suggesting that Karasuno was a bunch of wimps. He had explained the joke to Kamasaki five times in the past half hour. 

It had been difficult sneaking the tarp and paint supplies in, but Kenji managed to distract the crowd waiting outside the gym long enough for Kamasaki to run past them. He had yelled “Is that Oikawa Tooru?” at the top of his lungs and let his fangirls do the rest. Some guy in a blue jacket and glasses had been helpful in directing the crowd, saying “Oh look, there he goes!” whenever the group turned to search the gym. 

Kamasaki and Kenji only had a few minutes to complete their mission, because they informed the rest of the team before excusing themselves that they actually had to use the bathroom. Kenji figured they would understand once they saw the banner, and probably even admire him for his commitment to a joke. They couldn’t justifiably be angry with him anyways - he knew for a fact that Sasaya was planning on making crow noises whenever Karasuno’s shrimpy #10 jumped to spike, and Aone had done some arm stretches on the way over in preparation for all the pointing at Asahi and Ushijima he was going to do. Even Moniwa had brought a bag filled with the loudest, most disruptive snacks he could find.

Either way, depending on the team’s reaction Kamasaki was getting all of the credit or none of it. Kenji was planning on playing it by ear.

Kenji estimates that it had been thirty seconds since his last disruption of the peaceful pattern of painting strokes of white onto the black tarp that he and Kamasaki had fallen into, so he flicks some paint at Kamasaki’s shirt to liven things up. 

Kamasaki’s eye starts to twitch. “Watch where you wave that thing around, Futakuchi.”

“That’s what she said. Also, it was an accident.”

“Then apologize.”

“For what? Improving your shirt?”

_“You slimy little-”_

Kenji is rattling off an apology for his excellent fashion sense while Kamasaki is in the middle of painting Kenji’s face “to resemble the _clown_ he is” (Kamasaki’s words, not Kenji’s) when the bathroom door swings open.

Nametsu Mai stands in the doorway, one eyebrow raised. Kamasaki and Kenji freeze.

“You’re looking a little pale, Futakuchi,” she says.

“If you pretend you didn’t see anything, I’ll do your math homework for a week,” Kenji says.

“Moniwa is going to ask questions. Two weeks.”

“A week and a half.”

“Three weeks.”

“Fine! Two weeks.”

“Three. Weeks.”

“Okay! Alright, I’ll do your math homework for three weeks.”

Nametsu nods in satisfaction and turns to leave, but stops in the doorway again with a terrifying grin on her face. “And I want your gummy candy for a week.”

“But you don’t even like sour candy!” Kenji splutters.

“Yeah, but you love it.”

Kenji emits a high-pitched whine. Kamasaki pats him on the back consolingly.

“Fine. Fine. Whatever. You can have it. Is that all? You want my family too before you go?”

“No, they’ve suffered enough,” Nametsu calls over her shoulder as she leaves the bathroom. Kenji tries not to scream.

“Your sacrifice will not be in vain,” Kamasaki says seriously.

“Just- just help me carry this out,” Kenji scowls.

Kenji and Kamasaki had just figured out how to best carry the banner when the door swings open again, causing Kamasaki to yelp in fear and drop his end. 

A boy in a red hoodie with a blonde mohawk stands in the doorway, looking incredibly confused. 

“This is not the bathroom you’re looking for?” Kenji tries, waving his hand in front of mohawk’s eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure it is. What are you guys...doing...” he trails off, tilting his head to examine the still-wet kanji. Kenji wiggles the banner to make it more difficult to read.

Mohawk guy raises his head to look at Kenji, nose in the air and face twisted into a grimace. “Are you planning on messing with Karasuno?”

On instinct, Kenji’s face mirrors his expression. “What’s it to ya, Bro-hawk?” He drops a corner of the tarp to pat himself on the back for that sick burn.

“My name is Yamamoto, clownface,” Yamamohawk says. “My friend is playing for Karasuno and I won’t let you make him even more nervous than he already is. Gimme that banner.”

“Do you play volleyball too? What team are you on, eh?” Kamasaki growls, his face twitching from the exertion of maintaining his twisted expression as he backs out of Yamamoto’s reach. 

“Nekoma, in Tokyo,” Yamamoto says. He starts to circle Kenji and Kamasaki.

“How’d anyone from Karasuno meet a _city boy_ like you?” Kenji asks, joining Kamasaki in circling Yamamoto. They move closer to each other to avoid bumping into the urinals. 

_“Why does everyone from Miyagi call me that-”_

Kenji shoves Kamasaki towards Yamamoto, yelling “for the greater good” as he attempts to leave the bathroom with the banner. He moves too fast, tripping over the tarp and falling into a stall to the amusement of Kamasaki and Yamamoto.

“Traitor,” Kenji hisses at Kamasaki as he tries to pull himself up from the floor of the stall. He grabs the roll of toilet paper instead and slips again. Another _genius_ idea pops into his head.

Yamamoto is still laughing when the roll of toilet paper hits him in the face. Kenji had intended on making a run for it again but his shocked expression as the toilet paper bounced off his nose was too distracting, and he and Kamasaki double over in laughter. 

“Oh, it’s on,” Yamamoto says as he turns on the sinks and begins splashing water at Kamasaki and Kenji. Kamasaki takes the brunt of it, shielding their banner from water damage as Kenji reloads his supply of toilet paper. 

“Here!” he yells to Kamasaki, tossing him a roll. “Don’t miss like you usually do!”

“I was the _ace_ -” Kamasaki is cut off as Yamamoto fires a wet wad of toilet paper at him. It sticks to his cheek, and Kenji gets hit as well while laughing at the scene. He uses the toilet paper to wash the paint off his face before pelting Yamamoto with full rolls taken from the stalls.

Yamamoto had started to mix soap into his water attacks and Kenji was running out of toilet paper when the door swings open a third time.

Kamasaki and Yamamoto screech a warning, but they aren’t fast enough to stop Kenji from reacting in self-defense.

His final toilet paper roll hits the forehead of the older man in a suit who entered the restroom, bouncing off and taking his hair with it. The dark wig soars through the air in slow motion as Yamamoto and Kamasaki instinctively lean forward to receive it. It lands on Kenji’s head and all three volleyball players freeze. His brain is unable to comprehend that the man standing in the doorway is now bald because Kenji _has his hair._

“Run,” Yamamoto says, tearing the man’s wig off of Kenji’s head and throwing it at him. It hits him in the face, providing enough distraction for the three boys to escape the bathroom and take off down the hallway, their shoes squeaking on the linoleum floor and the banner forgotten in their haste.

Panting, they merge with the crowd entering the bleachers. Kenji puts his hands on his knees to get his breath back while Kamasaki slides down a wall, staring blankly into space. Yamamoto is making a strangled sound that Kenji identifies as terrified laughter, and it isn’t long before he and Kamasaki join in.

“It looked like- it looked like a cat jumped off of his head,” Kenji snorts.

“Did you see his face when he saw Futakuchi wearing his wig?” Kamasaki cackles.

“Did you see _Futakuchi’s_ face?” Yamamoto says, and all three lean on each other as another bout of laughter overwhelms them.

They enter the gym together, wiping tears from their eyes. Yamamoto solemnly shakes Kenji and Kamasaki’s hands. “I hope to face you in a real match someday.”

“No, you don’t,” Kenji says, grimacing again. Yamamoto immediately responds with an equally twisted expression, his eyes betraying his amusement.

He walks backwards up the stairs to his seat in the top row, continuing to grimace at Kamasaki and Kenji. He only trips twice, which impresses Kenji who fell three times trying to get to his seat while maintaining eye contact with Yamamoto. Not that he would ever say that out loud. 

The Datekou volleyball players seated in the bleachers have mixed reactions to Kamasaki and Kenji’s appearance. Pantalons immediately stands and moves to sit with a family that Kenji has never seen before, and judging by their expressions, they’ve never seen Pantalons before either. Nametsu breaks out laughing immediately, drawing even more unwanted attention to where Kamasaki and Kenji stand, dripping water on the stairs.

“You said you were going to the bathroom,” Moniwa hisses. “Why are you wet?”

“That’s what she said. And we were in the bathroom. We just got distracted with how dirty it was, so we cleaned it up.” Moniwa looks unimpressed, so Kenji tries a different tactic. “I couldn’t let Karasuno’s big day be ruined by a filthy bathroom. What kind of person would I be?”

“A good one,” Moniwa says flatly.

“I told him it was a bad idea,” Kamasaki offers.

“No, you didn’t,” Moniwa says.

“Yeah, I didn’t. I’m the reason for 50% of the water on him.”

Moniwa closes his eyes long enough that Kenji pinches his arm to check if he’s still awake. He only responds by taking several deep breaths, quietly mumbling “find your happy place.” When he opens his eyes again, his expression is much calmer. Kenji finds himself leaning away.

“I’m stepping down as captain,” Moniwa says. 

Kamasaki exchanges a glance with Kenji. “Moniwa, that already happened. Futakuchi is captain now-”

He and Kenji jolt in surprise as Moniwa cuts Kamasaki off in an outburst of laughter. Kenji gets up from his seat and begins to back away, shuffling to hide behind Kamasaki as he attempts to do the same, resulting in the both of them shoving at each other and falling over Sakunami. 

Moniwa wipes the tears from his eyes and straightens up from where he doubled over. “That’s a good one, Kamasaki. Really funny. Futakuchi, captain? Hilarious. Anyways, I was just kidding about stepping down. I couldn’t abandon you guys right before the Interhigh.”

Kenji is scared. 

“Moniwa, the Interhigh already happened. The third-years left the team,” Kamasaki tries again, looking equally fearful.

“You broke him. _Again,”_ Obara hisses from the row in front of them.

“Just let him reset,” Sasaya says, pulling out an airhorn. “The game is about to start anyways.”

Moniwa hums happily. “What are we watching? A practice match?”

In the end, Karasuno does cry. Kenji considers it a victory, and files away the memory as further evidence of his brilliance. He was basically prophetic.

**Author's Note:**

> when you google words that rhyme with “fly,” the page title is Fly Rhymes and i just......really like that
> 
> [kyouken.carrd.co](http://kyouken.carrd.co)


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